BFF (Hopefully): Grace and Sugar

Today, let's talk about pivots. More specifically, let's focus on that period of time right after a pivot.

As you move forward, sometimes the correct path is a bit foggy, so you just do your best and hope, but sometimes the next correct decision is very clear. That tends to happen when problems have been building for a while and you’re not sure what to do next. Then a moment comes when all of the pieces fall into place and the solution is obvious. Yeah! So you do it: you pivot. After a pivot, once in a blue moon, it’s all smooth sailing. We experienced that when we broke up the Edmund/Chester dog fight team (the brothers who did a great job protecting their flock, but couldn’t manage to avoid fighting with each other). We introduced Edmund (the one who picked the fights) to his new team mate Anne (who had been picking fights with her sister Emily), and we figured there might be fireworks for a bit. Nope! They settled in as a team almost instantaneously. It was absolutely incredible!!!

Unfortunately, that kind of smooth pivot experience is rare. Generally what happens is this:

That's the standard protocol. We've all experienced it, but still, somehow, the chaos is surprising and very disturbing! When you're there in those moments of self-doubt and confusion during the chaos of change, TRUST THE PROCESS!!! Remember the clarity right before the pivot, and trust that the results on the other side of the chaos will be better: forward, onward, upward, closer to the goal.

I wanted to talk about this particular topic today because we just experienced it with Grace and Sugar! Grace, our little mustang, is about 10 months old right now, and entering her difficult months. Our friend Jessica, who has raised numerous horses and has a little filly about Grace’s age right now, mentioned that from about six months to about 3 years old, horses just get to be pills. All they know is the word NO, all they do is test fences and limits, and it’s a bit of a pain in the rear. Whew! That was a relief to learn! We thought we were just failing Grace miserably, and ruining her permanently! Jessica said that the best thing to do with young horses, is to put them with old horses, who will teach them the ropes. Yep! Turns out all Grace really needs is a horse companion who will show her the ropes and who will put her little spicy self in her rightful place. Clarity!!! Time for a pivot!

We happen to have a fantastic, stable, wonderful 25 year old horse, Sugar. She’d been down in Greeley for a few months, so we brought her up again. Initially we put her in the upper winter yard with the mama sheep so that she could be across the fence from Grace for a few days to get reacquainted. That went well. Sugar is so chill that the sheep can walk right underneath her without her blinking an eye, and she and Grace had some great moments at the fence. Then the day for Grace’s “education” came. I led Sugar down, opened the gate, and put her in the pen with Grace.

Initially, everything went as planned. Sugar laid back her ears and whinnied whenever Grace pushed into her space with any sort of dominance and Grace backed off nicely. Yeah!

Then it didn’t go so well. Sugar is about three times as big as Grace, but Sugar is about the calmest, most peaceful animal you could ever meet. Grace? She’s a little spitfire mustang. I think Sugar got tired of being dominant against so much energy, and pretty soon Grace was bossing Sugar around the yard, driving her off of the hay bag, getting into her space when she was eating her old lady food. SO FRUSTRATING!!! I was frustrated with Grace for being a bossy girl, I was frustrated with Sugar that she wasn’t standing up for herself, mostly, I was just frustrated! Then, in the chaos, I started having those doubting questions pop up: was this the right move? Is this going to ruin Grace? Is this unkind for Sugar? Do I need to take Grace down to get educated by Jessica’s horses? Do I need to pull Sugar up into the barn again? Do I…? Do I…? Do I…?

Luckily, all I did was stay the course. We just left them together. I stayed by Sugar when I fed her old lady food so that I could make sure that Grace at least knew her place during that particular activity. We added two more haybags so that Grace couldn’t dominate all the hay bags at the same time, and we waited.

We noticed that they started staying by each other during the down times between eating sessions, we noticed that Sugar started to express more opinions about her old lady food, Grace stopped being quite so bossy, and then, a few days ago we saw them standing together in the shelter…peacefully.

Burton was looking out the window at that and said, “I always have to remember that you just need to trust the process.”

Yep! When you pivot, even when it’s the right thing to do, you change the status quo. You throw off the established balance, and there will most likely be chaos! Trust the process. Wait, make small appropriate adjustments (like adding more haybags), ignore the doubting questions, and watch. It may take a while, but after you make it through the chaos of the change, the results of an appropriate pivot will always move you forward, maybe forward into the next pivot, but forward nonetheless.

Sometimes it will move you forward in ways you could never anticipate. Grace now has a friend who is about as calm and unflappable as it is possible to be, just the thing for a happening little lady. And Sugar? Sugar is perkier and more engaged in life than I’ve ever seen her. Turns out maybe what she needed was a little Grace!

​Keep up the good work! Trust the Process! You are doing great things!!!